- Tell children, as well as adults, what they are doing RIGHT more often than what they are doing wrong. Most of the time, we parents find it easier to see the wrongs over the rights. However, research has shown that human beings respond well to positive reinforcement much better than negative. So if you have to be creative to find something right, then do so. If a child sits quietly for only five seconds, say "I liked how you sat quietly just then."
- Listen without judgment when they share their feelings. One of the most important needs humans of all ages have is to be acknowledged and understood. Parents have a powerful influence on their child's self-esteem based on their ability to show unconditional acceptance. A great way to do that is to take the child's feelings seriously and respond with confidence in their ability to handle the situation or to guide them through their own solution.
- Be patient and understanding when they struggle, yet firm with the established rules. This helps the child feel more secure because you are acting as a responsible adult. As much as they say they want you to bend the rules, they will really feel like you can't handle their challenges, making them feel alone in their struggles. Instead, remind them of their strengths and allow them to figure it out knowing that you are right there to support if needed.